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Submitted on
February 27, 2013
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Everyone knows love
And affection.
Regardless of the gender
Or the subject of attraction
Everyone shares this common knowledge
This mutual understanding.

Except us.

We don't color inside the lines.
At times it seems we speak
Entirely different languages;
Beyond comprehension
And communication.
At times it seems
We are beyond cohabitation.

We exist in different worlds
And yet your world is the norm.
We exist on your turf
On your terms
But not on your levels
And not by your criteria.
Your guidelines.

Your lines.

We are, by comparison
Quite childlike-
As they say, that is.
If we cannot grasp the concepts
So common to even teens
Then clearly we are unlearned
And, therefore, below you
And your 'adult understanding'.
We are 'naive', and 'young',
'Undeveloped', 'still growing',
And, worst of all:

"In need of good teachers".

There is little more terrifying
Than the implications in place
But to say more in defense
Would warrant ire and suspicion.

We are, still, strangers in your strange lands.

We are fictional
Inhuman.
The minority, within the minority.
On a scale from 0-6,
We are X.
Among numbers, we are letters
When identified at all-

When even acknowledged.

We have been spoon-fed your ideals
Since childhood. But that did not
Make us like you as adults.
We were vaccinated with serums
Of false conceptions of normalcy
But it did not prevent our outcome.

Inevitable.

In movies we saw the prince
Marry the princess.
And now we are told that it is okay
For a prince to marry a prince
And a princess to a princess.
But it is still not okay
To not marry at all.

We grew up wondering what was wrong
What we were missing
What we were missing out on.
And others noticed, too, our differences-
As they are oft to do.

It is alarming when you see,
For the first time,
That while others have formed a circle
You were standing on the sidelines.
And they would ask why
You did not join them.
Some might take your hand
And try to push you in.
You may, at first, choose to enter
And then withdraw.
Or you may have resisted
And pulled away.
But rejecting the standards,
Set in place by their world,
Will lead them to wonder.

What is wrong with us?

We are defective.

Each day we are inundated with images
Of sex, of love, of romance.
Billboards, commercials, magazines
Movies, books, and music.

And we know that we are the minority
And that the majority enjoys engaging
Both in the media and the motions.
We understand that our discomforts
Are small.
We do not wish
To sacrifice your enjoyments
For ours.
We understand this.

However

We would also like you,
As the overwhelming majority,
To understand the pressures and pains
Of everyday life, from everything we see.
And while you may accept that we exist
And tell us that it is okay-
That we strangers are welcome
In your world-
We still have no retreat, no home.

We are still strangers at best;
Unwelcome at worst.

Everywhere around us
We are faced with reminders-
We are small
We are different
We do not fit in the lines.
And if we complained or riled,
Then we would be spoil-sports
Ruining your fun.

So we do not speak at all.

But our lack of speech does not make us immune.
Does not make our skin thicker
Our ears deaf
Or our eyes struck blind.
It does not erase us
Or the problem present at hand.

With hope we strangers will make peace
With ourselves, and with this world.
We will swallow our pills
And then spit them back out.
We will find solace in strange places.
We forgive you
But more importantly
We forgive ourselves.

And we realize one thing:

We don't color inside the lines
Because we never had the lines
To color in.
Because there's not an asexual in the world who hasn't thought this or felt this. Even those most content and secure with themselves have undergone long periods of doubt, denial, confusion, and self-reflection.

I think we often feel we don't have the right to complain or say anything though, since we're not really targets. We don't get hate-groups or slurs (usually). We don't get the violence or harassment. People don't even know we exist. Or, worse yet, they deny it. Say that we're confused, say that we're in denial, or defective. When we are told that we are something we're not, denied acknowledgment, or completely unheard of; it makes us feel very alone. Very secluded. The rest of the world gets it, so why don't we? Or, why can't we? Literally, everywhere around us we're surrounded by "what is normal". Most music you here is about relationship and sex, most advertisements you see are targeting sex appeal, and most movies, books, and tv shows involve some sort of romantic plot/subplot. We are drowning in a world that we don't feel like we belong in. Compounding the problem is that because we're so uncommon (the most common statistic being 1%) we often aren't even aware that others like us are out there. Finding another asexual is quite rare; many asexuals aren't even aware of themselves.

I've been fortunate enough to have several online comrades who happen to be asexuals, but all though my adolescence I went through life thinking I was the only one like me. But, again, I think that is quite normal for asexuals. And it's really tweaking me out that the spell check isn't recognizing 'asexuals' as a word because it doesn't recognize it as a noun...


So all in all a pretty awful poem that's more of a rambling with line indents. But, then again, I guess that 87% of most poetry anyway!
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:icontruewolfwarriors:
Truewolfwarriors Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I know this comment might be really, really late since it was posted a long time ago and I just found it right now, but.....I really liked this poem. It just opens up a new thought in my mind of how people who are not into ether genders of the human race(any species for that matter) because they just view everyone else as just another person.
Also, this poem helped me realize how one of my closest friends on DA feels. She's a total tomboy and is also asexual and sometimes we joke about her being a couple with some other people(even her own characters), but now....this poem brought up some questions in my mind. Is she ever sadden that she an't feel what other people feel, to know what love is outside the borders of friendship? That she can't experience what we experience? I'll have to ask her that....so thank you for posting this poem since it opened up a new chain of thought for me.
Also again, its really good.
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:iconsongdog-strayfang:
Songdog-StrayFang Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Student Writer
I'm glad you found it interesting ^^ But if I had to say, it's not necessarily that we're sad because we're missing out on something. As they say, it's hard to miss something you never had in the first place. But when everyone is wearing this new bright red shirt, except you, even if you think the bright red shirt is really ugly, you feel really out of place. If everyone likes this new bright red shirt, why don't you? Would life be different if you wore the bright red shirt? People look at you differently because you're not wearing the same shirt as everyone else. Some people think you're in denial about liking the red shirt, or that you'll end up liking it eventually. Sometimes you wish you did like the bright red shirt simply so that you'd fit in, but you can't really change that it's not something you like.

Asexuality is basically like that.
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:icontruewolfwarriors:
Truewolfwarriors Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Huh...I see
(Nice example)
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:iconnothofagus-obliqua:
Nothofagus-obliqua Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
very nice poetry here, and interesting subject too :).

I'm not asexual, yet I have to admit pople's obsession with sexuality (and romance stuff, in general) quite often creeps me out. not out of puritanism but out of... idk, the subtext on dependence, or privacy-invasion it implies? maybe because I'm a bit overjealous of my personal space and then I'm quick to put a very eloquent distance when a guy makes advances, thus why I'm incapable of making a serious relationship ^^; (I have had BFs, but none lasted long).
maybe it's until falls in love for real, but I find the whole thing to be in big part a social duty (yet every day less of a pressure, fortunately) and overrated in general. few things freak me out more than those girls or guys who can't seem to exist if they don't have a GF/BF. whatever happened to cultivating our own passions and interests, uh?
hope my rambling makes a bit of sense ^^;
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:iconsongdog-strayfang:
Songdog-StrayFang Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Student Writer
I can deal with romance in books and movies and whatever; that's fine. It's a perfectly valid subplot. But I can't really stand romance as a genre, and excess/unnecessary sex scenes (the ones that serve no point in being 3 minutes) are incredibly awkward to watch. I just don't get the appeal. Blatant fanservice can even get kind of unnerving.

There's an age of obsession over being in a relationship, usually the teens. Then there's the "honey moon" phase couples tend to go through after the start a relationship where they obsess over their new partner. I don't know, I feel like I've lost friends to relationships. They get a girlfriend/boyfriend, and then suddenly forget they ever had friends. I feel like I need to hold a funeral for a lost friendship.
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:iconknux33:
knux33 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, most of this poem all too true. But I enjoyed reading it C: Baw, feels. Don't know what else to say

It may be rambling with indents, but it also says what it needs to say in quite a wonderful way! Which, of course, is a good goal for most poetry~
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:iconsongdog-strayfang:
Songdog-StrayFang Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Student Writer
I think the diction is off in places because I didn't know what I was doing at first. Originally I was doing a straight forward essay/prose, but I didn't like it. That felt way too much like a journal message.
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:icontzaryn:
Tzaryn Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
People have a hard time dealing with anything outside their preconceived notions of gender and sexuality. Fortunately, public consciousness is expanding, but we still have a long way to go.

Not only is this a good piece, but it is important piece. Art has huge hand in helping people understand things and become more accepting of ideas they were uncomfortable with. I hope people who know nothing about asexuality come across this piece, because I really do think it will make people think.
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:iconsongdog-strayfang:
Songdog-StrayFang Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Student Writer
It's a continual march towards an unreachable end, but that is how it is.

Ahaha, why thank you. This poem has gotten a lot more attention than I expected it to, but I don't think it's going to be making too many rounds. I think it's a little too rambley-accusational-words-without-direction to warrant much attention.
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:icontzaryn:
Tzaryn Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013
I have to disagree. Although I am aware of some of the problems asexual people face, this piece still hit me viscerally. It is clear and emotional. And sure, many people won't see it, but it will make an impact on most that do. I can tell from some of the comments, that is has already. I really do believe that every piece of art that helps illuminate an issue is important.
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